Learning Intimacy

This is the place if you feel you struggle with intimacy, contact and your connection to partners and friends

Many people experience anxiety, confusion, lostness and unfulfilled longing in their connection to others. Much of this is based on a lack of experiential understanding – the felt sense knowledge – of genuine emotional intimacy and connection.

“Learning intimacy” in this context means exploring through actual experience how contact and emotional intimacy are established whilst allowing the experience to deepen both your capacity for and your understanding of relational contact. I offer you guidance to observe this ‘alive’ contact and the resulting intimacy through different channels and pathways which we humans can use to form emotional and energetic connections.

For example this may be contact in the mind-space and here we want to differentiate our normal “narrative driven” conversational contact from a meeting in spacious-openness, strongly related to our true conscious presence.

Or it may be heart-centred contact and intimacy: here we can meet and experience acceptance, warmth and a more love based connection. For some this can bring some anxiety if the experience of heart based intimate connection in childhood has also been experienced as a threat.

Other pathways are equally important, though often less clearly experienced and understood. For example the connection to others in the belly centre with its qualities of “embodied will”, or pathways related to touch which is relationally grounding. Here we can learn to differentiate fears and tensions around erotic/intimate experience from deep presence within a peaceful and spacious, emotional-energetic intimacy freed from ego-driven aims.

In the sessions offered you can learn to navigate intimacy and contact with skill and lightness as well as learn to deepen the experiences in your relating to friends, loved once and partners.

What is my role:

As your guide, you can ask me to support you in becoming more aware of your core connection capacities and to help you strengthen your abilities for allowing different pathways, qualities and forms of connection. The aim is for you to establish greater freedom both in choosing how exactly you want to become intimate as well as increasing your choices around the level of closeness and intimacy in different contexts, moments and relationships.

What happens in a session:

One could describe the work as a kind of “relational meditation”. We sit and allow different forms of contact to evolve naturally. As it is a guided enquiry you can learn specifically which channel of contact is easy for you and which might not be so easy or even might bear historical fear or insecurity.

All this happens naturally in a very slow and focused exchange which you might find quite effortless. We tend to look at one area of contact at a time, with all its learning and nourishment. It’s fun to observe contact and emotional intimacy in this way rather than falling into the often-experienced overwhelm when trying to relate intimately outside such a safe structure.

Through this very slowed-down and calmly contemplated experience you become more and more expert in guiding your own intimacy and contact process with a sense of clarity, understanding depth and safety. Going forward this helps you looking after your own contact and intimacy needs more fully.